Most would think and then ask; why in the world are you thanking God that you are not there yet? I know we as Christians all say "God's not through with me yet" or "God knows my heart" and all is true but both are used in a very wrong context. First I do know God is not through with me yet, but that doesn't give me the excuse to sin. If I am sinning and it hasn't registered that I am that's one thing, but the moment I am made aware that I am doing such I need to repent and change my actions. Sometimes that's easier said than done. Staying close to God I have made some good strides in my personal walk and some....well, some just have not taken off the ground yet. I have been made aware of some and I am going to work on them now that they have been put in my face. See I can roll over and get made and fuss and maybe even cuss and then pull out the old "well God knows my heart" line and chalk it up to that...but I won't.
I will take my lumps like the growing servant I am and keep walking forward. This whole year has been that way for me. It hurts more when you hear it close from home, but truth is truth and we need not turn a blind eye to proper correction. It's a whole lot easier to try and give advice to someone and then not take your own advice. So let me make this clear for anyone that is reading my blog.
I do not have all the answers. If you have been following my blog then you know for a fact that I don't. The Spirit put it on my heart to do this blog for other men who are struggling to try and be better Christians, better examples, better fathers, better husbands, and better servants in the church and to God. That is what this blog is about; if someone is offended then I do apologize; that is never my intention.
Truth hurts and a lot of times when I write this blog, as I do with a sermon, I am very convicted. Why you ask? Well to put it simply.....because I am not there yet. I am still growing and still learning and just because I hit a bump on the emotional road of sin doesn't mean I need to stay on the ground and wallow in self pity and failure. I am going to make a lot of mistakes and I am trying to learn from them all. I've made some dumb ones this year that I will never repeat again, with the Lord's help. And there are some mistakes I just apparently can't shake.....yet
Brothers just because you keep making a mistake doesn't mean that you don't want to stop it. Where does your heart truly lie. Does it lie in yourself on with God. When you fall because of a habitual sin; who are you trying to please when you get back up and try again? God or someone that pointed out your sin to you? I ask because if you are trying to please anyone other than God you will become depressed and all that you will see is your failures. Why? because that's all they are seeing. They mean well and want you to grow, but let's face it shall we? All we hear is you did this again, you aint changed, until I see your growth it doesn't matter.....that hurts.
All of that hurts, but you know what at this leg in this Christian race I thank God that I do not resort to my old attitude which is to give up and be hateful or bitter. As i write this the Lord points me to this scripture it reads in Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is NOW seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Let's break this down shall we. "Therefore since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses"-here in this part we will have Christians and non-Christians alike that will be watching us. We are to be an example in our Christian walk. That means even when we fall people are watching. It may be family, friends, co workers, church members, or just complete strangers; but they are all witnesses of your faith and your walk with the Lord.
"Let us lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely"- Everything that is weighing you down and keeping you from running this weight needs to be take off of you. The weight of shame and failure; the sin of lust, pride, greed, selfishness all of it needs to be cast aside. You can't run a race if you got dumbells tied to your legs now can you? That's what all of that sin and doubt is....weights holding you down.
"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" - If you thought this race was a sprint then you are in for a rude awakening. as I stated in my other blog post; God just loves the incubation process. The slow and steady process seems to be God's best way to get us where we need to be. If we got there quickly we wouldn't appreciate it. We wouldn't appreciate the tireless patience the Lord continues to show us as we fall and get up and fall and get up and fall and hopefully continue to get up.
"Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith" - This is where our focus should be at. Not on the person we are trying to prove we have changed to. Not the church, not the members, not your job, not your friends, not your Pastor and not your family. none of them got a heaven or hell to put you in. That doesn't mean that you don't want to show you are making stride, but at the end of the day you can't make them see. All we can do is fix our sights on Christ alone and know that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1). God does not condemn us; people will. And we still must forgive them (sincerely) and push forward.
"Who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross" - This is the Good news!!! This is (should) be why preachers preach the gospel. This right here. Jesus Christ endured the cross. Let me say that again for every single person that is going through hard times right now. JESUS CHRIST ENDURED THE CROSS. His race was three years. Christ started his ministry at 30 years of age and his physical life on this earth was over in 3. But that whole time Christ endured pain, lies, heartaches, sorrow, beatings, being spat on, stabbed, nailed to a cross, thorned, and hung on a cross. He endured his Christian race for us so that we have hope to do the same. His joy was set before him. That means it wasn't in his face yet. Just like our joy is set before us. Our joy is the prize and that prize is not wealth, it is not comfort living, it is nothing on this earth. Our joy is to be with Christ; to hear the Lord say "Well done thy good and faithful servant" (Matt 25:23). That is our Joy and should be our area of focus as believers and Christians.
As I started to write this blog I had a total different direction to go. Still would of made sense, but apparently this was more important. I thank God for this race in my life. And like a relay race every time I get to a new leg in it I can pass the baton and start the next leg. This race is my life and thankfully I am not dead yet that i get the opportunity to continue this race with the Lord instead of it ending without Him.
So yes I thank God I am not there yet..
I thank God i am not there yet when it comes to living holy everyday
I thank God i am not there yet with my bible studies
I thank God I am not there yet with my sermon writing
I thank God I am not there yet with being totally free from sin
I thank God I am not there yet with my relationships with my family and friends
You know why? Because this keeps me humble....that's why. This keeps me running this Christian race and keeps me from giving up. This keeps me from focusing on my so called "perfect Christian stance". You know how saints get when they feel they have been serving the Lord for a long time and know all they need to know and feel like they can't really learn the Lord anymore or grow with him. I thank God i am not there yet as a Christian because it keeps pride at bay. I thank God he may have to pull my coat-tail and say "nuh uh son, you aint that big".
I almost didn't write this blog, but I am thankful I did. Because as I pray and reflect on this year this month I am reminded that.....I am not there yet.....And you know what? That is just fine by me :)
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