Because I choose to....

I have an ex-wife and a son I never get to talk to.....ya know why?
Because I choose to drink
I embrace my sickness.....ya know why?
Because I choose to drink
I am happy to blame myself....ya know why?
BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO DRINK?

This quote came from an excellent movie I watched titled "Flight" starring Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle and many other names.  Hands down an excellent movie and very much worth the watch.  Alas I will not spoil it for some, but I will say go watch it.

The quote that opened this post stuck out to me in a great number of ways.  Denzel's character's life was spiraling down a drain that seemed uncontrollable....until he muttered those words "Because I choose to...".  That phrase has been haunting me all year long and even more so the beginning of this year.  How many times have you thought about that phrase "I choose to..."?  How many times have you actually said to yourself; this life of mine is the way it is because I choose it this way?  Or How about I am the person I am right now, because I choose to be this way?

The great gift and curse of choice was given to us by God almighty.   Sometimes I wonder would life be any easier if we had no choice in the matter?  Well at least we ourselves would be blameless.  It may not be sweeter but at least easier on our conscience; wouldn't it?  Matt 7:13-14 states

"Enter by the narrow gate.  For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter it are many.  For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Jesus is not giving a command here, but a plea.  He knows people will make the choice to choose the easy wide gate and he is warning the people (us) not to go that way.  The wide easy gate is easy....

It's easier to lie and save face
It's easier to hide my sins behind a door or closet where no human eyes can see them
It's easier to push everyone away so I don't have to love anyone or get hurt myself
It's easier to steal what I want than earn it
It's easier to manipulate my situation and make it lean my way
It's easier to drink my problems away
It's easier to just get high and drift off; even if only for a short while

Christ made it very clear that these two gates are a choice that everyone will have to make. The narrow gate is not hidden, but it is hard to find.  Death and life are these two gates and depending on which one you choose to enter now; will determine your life after death.  Choices cause us to take responsibility of who we are and what we believe.  You have no one to blame but yourself.  You can't blame God, your parents, your children, your friends, your job, your spouse, your significant other.....none of it.  People want to say well you can't choose your family; and that is very true.  But you can choose how you react or respond to them that hurt you.

Reacting is more like impulse and not thought out.  Responding is more of a calculated response.  Don't get it wrong you can choose either one of these, but like the gates.  One leads to death and one leads to life.  You can react negatively to your situation or you can choose to respond appropriately.  Choices build your character and your integrity.  Choices are what stick to you.  Every choice you make is something you have to live with and that choice is what makes you.  Just like the opening statement; I choose to be.......this or that.

Do you choose death or life?  Christ gives us a choice and makes it very plain that each choice is a path and depending on which gate you are heading towards, it will determine a specific outcome.  There was a time when I chose....

I chose to be angry and dismissive
I chose to steal
I chose to lie
I chose to cheat
I chose to have an attitude with everyone
I chose to push people away
I chose to manipulate the situation for my benefit
I chose to love less
I chose to turn away from God

And because of those choices I made.....

I chose to never have a stable residence
I chose to never have a job lasting more than a few months at a time
I chose to be locked up in jail for stupid things
I chose to push my immediate family away from me
I chose to not only fail at one marriage, but two
I chose to not have a relationship with my children
I chose to allow pornography to dictate my perception of women

These are choices I made for 34 years.  34 years I chose to live this life.  What life are you choosing?  Scripture says Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived.  God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that shall he also reap.

Because of my choices I reaped the consequences of it.  You can choose to continue living the life you had been living, or you can choose to follow Christ and his word.  You can choose to never know which way you are going, or you can allow the Lord to make all your paths straight (Prov 3:5-6).  It will not be easy and just like Christ said in the scripture of Matt 7:13-14, it will be hard.

I made the decision to follow the narrow gate.  I chose to turn away from the life i had grown so accustomed to.  The life that was taking me nowhere but in circles; I chose to seek Christ and let him make my paths straight.  That one choice changed my life.  That one choice caused me to make other, better choices.

I chose to love more and hate less
I chose to forgive those who have crossed me
I chose to ask for forgiveness of my wrongs against others
I chose to stop being angry with my kids mom
I chose to stop blaming the job for why I didn't have one
I chose to stop blaming God for all of MY bad choices
I chose to accept who i was when I looked in the mirror; as much as it pained me to stare at him
I chose to commit to building a Christlike character
I chose to value my integrity
I chose to have boundaries to protect my spirit and my relationship with Christ
I chose the narrow gate

And because of those choices....

I get to see my children more and more
I get to look at my kids mother and not feel one shred of anger in my heart any more
I get blessed with a job that is both friendly and respectful of me
I have a better outlook on life
I get to grow my relationship with Christ
I have a desire to study my bible
I am empathetic to others in pain and despair
I get to counsel others with the guidance of the Holy Spirit using me to help others
I get to show just how much my love for Christ has changed me inside out

Your future can be brighter if you would only choose to stop going to the wrong gate.  Once Satan knows you are choosing the narrow gate, He will choose to fix his gaze upon you and you will be tested and tempted.  Because just like Christ, Satan knows the importance of just one soul turning back to Christ.  One soul is just as important to him as it is to Christ.  One is fueled by hate and one is fueled by love.

The difference for me now with my choices is before I would just consult others and then go with my gut on what sounded logical.  Now I pray and trust the Spirit to guide my every decision making process.  I make better choices and will reap accordingly.  Some things may not turn out exactly as I want it, but my integrity and my character is sound.