How you gon' win when you aint right within

Here I am bumping Doo Wop by Lauren Hill just remembering  a time when rap was not so polluted and spoke about something other than gold, money, women, sex, cars and anything else that was just plain materialistic.  I have always been a fan of words and Lauren Hill was no exception to the phrase wordsmith. I didn't realize it till now that I have always tuned in to people that had something to say and articulated it well.  When it came to certain rap songs that were exceptionally wordy and or fast I would copy them down word for word until I had the whole song.  And then I would recite that song with the music over and over and over till I had it memorized.  I didn't do it because I wanted to be a rapper but because I just liked words.  Here it is 20 something years later since then and I never cultivated that or ran with it until now.

I read 3 times as much as I used to and I definitely write more than I ever have in my whole life.  It's like the Lord awakened a desire or gift that had been dormant for decades (yes I said decades lol).  But like the title of this blog says "How you gon win when you aint right within" is 100% true.  Writing for me is actually freeing.  Some people do it in song, poem, art, dance, building construction or whatever.  But they do so because they love doing it and to me that is winning.  Doing what you were born to do is winning.  When the Lord reveals that to you, you can't lose.  I will probably one day write a book.  I have been teeter tottering about the idea for some time (kind of like writing at all) and I am just waiting for direction from the Spirit before I make a move into something like that.

I chose to use what God has given me not for personal gain but to further his purpose.  There is where I get the most enjoyment in writing.  I don't think I would enjoy writing as much had it been for something secular and selfish.  I mean look at when the Lord decides to awaken this desire to study his Word and preach and write.  He done so after my 2nd divorce and after I rededicated my life back to him permanently.  It's like he was saying now you can use this which I have given you.  Jeremiah 1:5 I knew you before you were formed in your mothers womb...He knew before i was an idea in my parents mind that I would be exactly who I am today.  He knew I would go through all the pitfalls and troubles in life and that one day I will come to myself and return back to Christ.

He knew that I was not right within and yet one day i would seek to be right with him.  His love is truly no respecter of persons, no partiality.  he doesn't love one sinner more or less than another.  Because of his grace and mercy I am allowed  use this ability he has given me.  It truly is amazing to me.  When I look around or when a song comes to mind I am almost instantly transformed to thinking about Christ.  So everything that I write may have been shown to me throw  fleshly eyes or ears but it's his Spirit that has instructed me and it's because of the Holy Spirit that I am even able to do what I do.  Never will you hear me say "my ability alone" or "my accomplishments alone".  I will never toot my own horn.  Christ has brought me too far for me to just cast him to the side when things go better.  - Be blessed