Alone or Lonely?

Ok so being that thanksgiving just passed and Christmas is on the way, I figured I would tackle the dreaded L in our acronym H.A.L.T.; Lonely.  If you are just now joining, I have been discussing spiritual warfare and some of the enemies tactics to try and get us to live a defeated life away from God.  His sole purpose is destroy any chance of a relationship with Christ Jesus.  I will say this and move on.  The devil is not all powerful, he is a punk and is a coward.  The devil is not on the same playing field as God.  In the bible, as stated in the book of revelation, we Christians win and he loses.  He is thrown into the same hell we are thrown in.  Not to rule (as pop culture portrays hell) but to suffer for all eternity.  Now me personally as a human, knowing someone is trying to take me out, I would take the fight to them.  The devil, like us was created and therefore is also under God’s rule.  He knows his fate and instead of taking out God (which he cannot do) he decides to take out what God loves most, you and I.  So please understand this is a personal vendetta to take us out and keep us bound. Now having said that, let us proceed.

I hate being lonely!!!! Yep as a man and a minister I have just confessed a serious thorn in my flesh, loneliness.  I have an addiction problem to companionship.  For the first time in my life I am lonely.  No wife, no girlfriend, no significant other just me.  I have been divorced this second time for almost 2 years.  Before that I had not been lonely since 1998.  I jumped from one bad relationship to another.  All the while destroying other people because I was not willing to see what was wrong with me.  I say this because if you don’t allow the Holy Spirit to show you yourself and then give a thorough self-examination of who you are, you will always be vulnerable and susceptible to the devils attacks on your life. No point in knowing enemy if you don’t know yourself first.  As a man and someone who has rededicated his life back to the Lord, ministers to a people in jail and anywhere else the Lord leads; I struggle with being lonely.  It is something I am not used to nor did I want to get used to it.  But here I am grinding this thing out day by day. 

Now let me explain something; I am lonely but not alone.  The devil plays on this distinction because we tend to think they are both one and the same.  Because I am lonely the devil uses dreams and fixation of the opposite sex to lure me into believing that being lonely equates being alone, and it doesn’t.  I am rich in family and in close friendship.  I have people in the faith whom I love and respect.  I have a church home to which I belong and have others in whom I have fellowshipped with.  When you are in Christ you are never alone.  Every believer and follower of Jesus Christ is a brother or sister.  You have family and they are just as dysfunctional as another biological family.  Please understand that as long as you think being alone and lonely is the same thing, the devil will use this to confuse you and have you seeking a relationship that God has not ordained for you to have (trust me I know).  And I feel I need to say this for clarity…..ahem. Just because the Lord did not sign off your you choosing to go one way versus his, does not mean he has left you hanging nor would he not bless you because you chose to be hardheaded.  Think of it like a parent to a child.  You don’t stop loving a child or doing for a child just bcause they want to be independent and hardheaded to boot.  Same thing here. End sidebar

I’ve been through too much to look at a perspective that is not Christ centered.  And that brothers and sisters is the point.  What perspective are you looking at your situation?  Is it a me centered perspective, a world centered perspective, or a Christ centered perspective?  Only one is the way to go.  The others will leave you vulnerable to the devils attacks and can cause you to fall into temptation.  Would I like to be in a Christ centered, loving relationship? Sure.  But not at the expense of doing it my way versus God’s way.  You have to ask yourselves these questions, because it is here where you find out just how do you actually define yourself.  It took me 34 years and 2 divorces and severall failed encounters to realize that as much as I want to be in a real marriage sanctioned by God, it just isn’t time for me to be.  Loneliness can cause depression, overeating, stress, sexual impurity, anger, lack of sleep and a whole slew of other problems that can cause you to fall into temptation and sin.  Being lonely sucks but the one thing the devil continually fails to learn about me is every chink in my armor or character forces me to look to Christ that much more.  Since I am that flawed and fragile I know that I need the Lord just that much more.  It seems like a lifetime before I figured this out, but now that I know this, I lean on the Holy Spirit and the Bible that much more.  Remember the devil will use this to trip you up.  He will create and nuture a desire in you so strong that you will begin to think this must be from the Lord.  But the way to tell if it’s from the Lord is this.  Does what you desire line up with the Bibles views or the worlds?  Can you be satisfied with the Lord with or without it?  If you can then the Lord could be directing you.  If not then you may need to continue into further prayer and guidance on your thought process.  John 14:18 – I won’t leave you as orphans. I will come to you. - Be blessed and a blessing